.....thinking

i have so much on my mind right now. i have so much school work to do this month and im scared about school. i think i wanna change my major because i havent been as into my elementary ed. classes. I have been more interested in smaller kids, like preschool age. drake just got a job which i so wonderful, but im so scared he is just going to forget about me because he will be so busy at work. im so scared for this summer because im scared things will fall apart. he already told me that we probably wouldnt talk everyday and i would just have to get over it. its awful that i remember everything he says to me but i do. and i know he said it like awhile back but im scared he would still mean it if i brought it up. i dont wanna loose him at all. i dont think i could handle it. this is such an awful time of the year im ready for things to calm down and go back to normal. i cannot concentrate on anything and i have an 8 page paper due tomorrow that i have two pages for....i cant do it...

the need

I need to write today. I want to know how i got the image i have in college. It is kinda of annoying because my roommate think she is funny by calling me a whore and making up songs and whatever when it is not funny. It hurts my feelings. It always have and it always will. People can call me whatever they want because i dealt with it all my life but when people understand me better, then they can call me whatever they want. One of my friends jokes aroudn about it, but the difference is i know she really does not think of me like that. Everyone else does and i do not like it. whatever i am done ranting and complaining.

Harry Potter

You know I have been thinking and everyone is so in love with Twilight and I cannot say much because I have not read the books yet, but I plan to, anyways I miss Harry potter. I cannot ever get enough of him and I wish to just touch Daniel Radcliffe and if i ever do i will never wash that part of my body again! The thing is all I hear is twilight and me and some of my friends they are some what trying to make a connection between Harry Potter and Twilight because of the character in the movie who plays Edward was in harry potter first and they figure if they use him more people will actually want to go see the movie. I just thought I would dedicate something to Harry potter and Daniel Radcliffe's AMAZING BODY!

SNOW DAY!

Okay so today we had our first snow day and it was so exciting! I took lots of pictures and you can actually see the snow in them! YAY for snow! Oh and i will put up the pick of me and jenny from break!!!

The end is approaching!!!!!

Okay so the end of my semester is almost over and I am super excited! I get done with all my exams by like Wensday Dec. 10th! Then the 13th I leave for FLORIDA!!!!! I am so excited! But closer to now THnaksgiving is almost here and I cannot wait to go home and see everyoen especially Jenny! Well school has been going good so far, with the semester almost over I am swamped with work now. Marching band is almost over we have our last practices this week, which is exciting. WE got back form Indiana Sunday night and I will put up a slide show of all my pictures for the trip. It was so much fun to be there and performing on the Colts football field. It was a real energy rush! I guess the best part was Justin amazingly beign up there with Mr. underwood! It was just fun! Otherwise nothign much is goign on up here i am ready to come home for a break! Love becca

High school all over again....

I figure as long as I am waiting on my biology class to start I might as well get a new blog in! This past week was a tough week on me. I kind of felt like i was back in high school again, I guess like the song says "High School never ends." Tuesday night Sammy and I got into a argument with Shannon part 2. I cried all night almost had a panic attack. I say i felt like i was back in high school because its kind of what happened in colorguard my sophomore, junior, and senior year. It still is not fixed completely but her talking to us is good enough. I guess the best part of tuesday was stayign up till 4 am torturing Sammy. Pictures down at the bottom and videos to come! Wednesday we had school off for advising day so we decided to go eat some lunch then head to dillsboro just to walk around. Well at 345 i get a text message saying that my friend little laci, who is a dwarf, was in a car wreck and her car is totaled. She was at the ER so we went by the hospital and sat there for 45 minutes before leaving because we knew we could not see her. We went on to dillsboro and got some fudge because thats what i wanted and walked around till about 6. We found one really neat store called Dogwood Crafts. I was so enthralled because of all the stuff that was in there. Everything hand crafted! Thursday we were back to classes and nothing really went on. Everything was kind of weird and I hated not talking to Shannon. Friday, Sammy was leaving for App and i knew this weekend would be boring. Friday night I just hung out with Ryan, my boyfriend, until 230 in the morning, then got back up at 8 am to go to practice for the football game Saturday which was quite depressing, but the band did well at least. Sunday i honestly can say i did nothing except sleep all day. I watched the Panthers kick ass in the last two quarters and thats it. TO actually talk abotu something useful. I talk to Sammy a lot about everything just because she understands better than anyone. I have a group but after last tuesday i feel like it broke apart. We all still hang out just not together. I feel left out of the group when Sammy is not here. This weekend I did nothing after the game. Everyone left to go somewhere and i was sitting in my bed... I dunno. I just dont know how much a part of the group I actually am anymore. When Sammy was gone this weekend all i did was sleep and hang out with Ryan. I did not hang out with my friends because I felt like everyone just left while i had other stuff to do. Like Saturday I was still at the game while my friends all went to Asheville. Oh well... hopefully we will actually do stuff this weekend except wait.... i have another football game...I am tired of band for the fact i have barely any friends in the band and all my friends go off and do stuff without me. I dont like that band up here because I do feel like adn outcast which is nothing new because I have always been like that but for once i want to be a part of the group! Like I am up here, but I still sorta do not feel like it! Whatever though. Another thing that Sammy and I talked about was the fact when she goes home, she gets to see all of her friends and go out. All i do is sit at home when i go home. I want to be able to see people. Like when I went home I wanted to see Jennny and Justin and everyone, but I couldn't because my parents would not let me out of the house. They treat me like I am still 15. My G even said to me when my mom was my age she never asked to go out, she just said Ill be back at a specific time. I could never do that. I want my freedom, I guess thats why I do what I want and never call them when I am going out. I do not care. I want to be able to spend time with my friends. I have to say I am actually excited for xmas break because I get to go to Florida for 10 days! Spend time with people I have not seen in forever. My G who i miss so much and my brother and soon to be sister in law!, and my Aunt and cousin, who is apparently taller than me which does not surprise me. i even get to see My friend Keri who has been around since we were in Kindergarden. I guess the worst thing is that I probably will not get to see Mikey, my other brother. I dont knwo when the next time is I will get to see them because I dont think they are comign for new years or xmas... I dunno. Anyways I think I am done, I guess here are some recent pictures!

"Sometimes my mind wonders, other times it leaves completely"

College Life had been absolutely awesome. I have amazing friends up here and I found someone I really like. I am still really god friends with Maria and if you check my facebook we are married haha! But I found a really awesome group of friends that include Sammy, Shannon M., SHannon E., Alyssia,Ryan, and Laci. We all have such a great time together. Sammy is amazing. She came up with the nickname Jew for me because all of you know I am Jewish. I love her to death and would do anything for this girl. She will always be there for me, especially when i needed her already this year. I can pick on her whenever and she just picks right back. I don't know what i would do without her! Shannon M I met over ASP and she is pretty awesome. I know i can talk to her and she can always help me when I need it. Like Sammy, Shannon is there for me as well. She actually lives on my hall so I see her a lot and we also have English together. Shannon E. I met when we got up here. She is Shannon M. best friend. She is very intimidating. lol,and sammy your still not! She is pretty awesome! And of course she is funny..."Shred!" Alyssia aka Asian. If you havent figured out she is ASian and obsessed with shoes! She is really creepy sometimes and most of the time it isnt funny! She likes to scare the crap out of me and I do not appreciate it! Ryan is a guy i met in my english class. He is pretty amazing and I like him a lot. We have actually spent a lot of time together since we met and will hopefully start datign soon because we aren't official. Laci is pretty awesome she is a dwarf but amazingly funny. We have a lot of fun together. Band is going pretty good. While starting Wensday after class began Fall Break I am here for band but coiming home on sunday after TOC. I am very excited because TOC i get to see everyone in our band here. If you guys want to see me let me know cause i will be around school monday or tuesday. We actually had a band halloween party and it was so much fun. I got to dance and I have a good time... minus me still having ankle problems still after i sprained it.