High school all over again....

I figure as long as I am waiting on my biology class to start I might as well get a new blog in! This past week was a tough week on me. I kind of felt like i was back in high school again, I guess like the song says "High School never ends." Tuesday night Sammy and I got into a argument with Shannon part 2. I cried all night almost had a panic attack. I say i felt like i was back in high school because its kind of what happened in colorguard my sophomore, junior, and senior year. It still is not fixed completely but her talking to us is good enough. I guess the best part of tuesday was stayign up till 4 am torturing Sammy. Pictures down at the bottom and videos to come! Wednesday we had school off for advising day so we decided to go eat some lunch then head to dillsboro just to walk around. Well at 345 i get a text message saying that my friend little laci, who is a dwarf, was in a car wreck and her car is totaled. She was at the ER so we went by the hospital and sat there for 45 minutes before leaving because we knew we could not see her. We went on to dillsboro and got some fudge because thats what i wanted and walked around till about 6. We found one really neat store called Dogwood Crafts. I was so enthralled because of all the stuff that was in there. Everything hand crafted! Thursday we were back to classes and nothing really went on. Everything was kind of weird and I hated not talking to Shannon. Friday, Sammy was leaving for App and i knew this weekend would be boring. Friday night I just hung out with Ryan, my boyfriend, until 230 in the morning, then got back up at 8 am to go to practice for the football game Saturday which was quite depressing, but the band did well at least. Sunday i honestly can say i did nothing except sleep all day. I watched the Panthers kick ass in the last two quarters and thats it. TO actually talk abotu something useful. I talk to Sammy a lot about everything just because she understands better than anyone. I have a group but after last tuesday i feel like it broke apart. We all still hang out just not together. I feel left out of the group when Sammy is not here. This weekend I did nothing after the game. Everyone left to go somewhere and i was sitting in my bed... I dunno. I just dont know how much a part of the group I actually am anymore. When Sammy was gone this weekend all i did was sleep and hang out with Ryan. I did not hang out with my friends because I felt like everyone just left while i had other stuff to do. Like Saturday I was still at the game while my friends all went to Asheville. Oh well... hopefully we will actually do stuff this weekend except wait.... i have another football game...I am tired of band for the fact i have barely any friends in the band and all my friends go off and do stuff without me. I dont like that band up here because I do feel like adn outcast which is nothing new because I have always been like that but for once i want to be a part of the group! Like I am up here, but I still sorta do not feel like it! Whatever though. Another thing that Sammy and I talked about was the fact when she goes home, she gets to see all of her friends and go out. All i do is sit at home when i go home. I want to be able to see people. Like when I went home I wanted to see Jennny and Justin and everyone, but I couldn't because my parents would not let me out of the house. They treat me like I am still 15. My G even said to me when my mom was my age she never asked to go out, she just said Ill be back at a specific time. I could never do that. I want my freedom, I guess thats why I do what I want and never call them when I am going out. I do not care. I want to be able to spend time with my friends. I have to say I am actually excited for xmas break because I get to go to Florida for 10 days! Spend time with people I have not seen in forever. My G who i miss so much and my brother and soon to be sister in law!, and my Aunt and cousin, who is apparently taller than me which does not surprise me. i even get to see My friend Keri who has been around since we were in Kindergarden. I guess the worst thing is that I probably will not get to see Mikey, my other brother. I dont knwo when the next time is I will get to see them because I dont think they are comign for new years or xmas... I dunno. Anyways I think I am done, I guess here are some recent pictures!

"Sometimes my mind wonders, other times it leaves completely"

College Life had been absolutely awesome. I have amazing friends up here and I found someone I really like. I am still really god friends with Maria and if you check my facebook we are married haha! But I found a really awesome group of friends that include Sammy, Shannon M., SHannon E., Alyssia,Ryan, and Laci. We all have such a great time together. Sammy is amazing. She came up with the nickname Jew for me because all of you know I am Jewish. I love her to death and would do anything for this girl. She will always be there for me, especially when i needed her already this year. I can pick on her whenever and she just picks right back. I don't know what i would do without her! Shannon M I met over ASP and she is pretty awesome. I know i can talk to her and she can always help me when I need it. Like Sammy, Shannon is there for me as well. She actually lives on my hall so I see her a lot and we also have English together. Shannon E. I met when we got up here. She is Shannon M. best friend. She is very intimidating. lol,and sammy your still not! She is pretty awesome! And of course she is funny..."Shred!" Alyssia aka Asian. If you havent figured out she is ASian and obsessed with shoes! She is really creepy sometimes and most of the time it isnt funny! She likes to scare the crap out of me and I do not appreciate it! Ryan is a guy i met in my english class. He is pretty amazing and I like him a lot. We have actually spent a lot of time together since we met and will hopefully start datign soon because we aren't official. Laci is pretty awesome she is a dwarf but amazingly funny. We have a lot of fun together. Band is going pretty good. While starting Wensday after class began Fall Break I am here for band but coiming home on sunday after TOC. I am very excited because TOC i get to see everyone in our band here. If you guys want to see me let me know cause i will be around school monday or tuesday. We actually had a band halloween party and it was so much fun. I got to dance and I have a good time... minus me still having ankle problems still after i sprained it.

Write when you need to get things off your chest or just to talk about anything

I have made the best friends up here ever, but I feel like I cannot talk to anyone up here yet. I feel like i am back on my high school bus because everyone STILL makes fun of the way i talk. I cannot help it and i don't like it. It really upsets me. I really don't like it. It hurts my feelings a lot and I do not like it. I don't know what else is going on but Ryan has not texted me all night. Its really weird because everything was fine this afternoon when we were talking, but like always whenever i find a guy i like i come on too strong of course. Its a lot harder than it looks to get over someone you have loved for 3 years and coming to college i wanted to start new but still be friends with him. I still love him, but I know i need to move on. I am trying so hard but ya know it never works out for me. My roommate situation is just horrible. She hates me and keeps making comment at my friends towards me. We haven't talking in two weeks, but whatever. i give up on tryign to make the peace. I have to sya the worst part right now is me failing english! I sat in my teachers office and cried because i am. it really sucks. But basically the whole point is that right no I have locked myself in my room nto talking to my friends and i hate that but it really upsets me a lot when people make fun of the way i talk. I know they think they are just joking but I dont take it like that. i am just tired of all these stupid little situations and I just want to be happy with a roommate and all my friends. I do not want to be in high school anymore.

WCU marching band!